Rachel, my boss is pushing his son on me

Dear Rachel,
I recently graduated from college and just started with a mid-sized agency in the Midwest. I really enjoy the job and my coworkers, but I’m getting frustrated by something my boss’s boss keeps saying. Every time we bump into each other, he mentions how perfect I’d be for his son, who also just graduated from college. I have no interest in dating the boss’s son. I can understand him maybe saying it once, but I’m tired of him bringing it up every time we meet. Oh and P.S., I’m a lesbian anyway. Sign me Pestered in Cleveland

Dear Pestered,
I got into trouble last week over a similar question, and I am sure I will get in trouble with my answer to this one as well.

I can see how you find this man’s behavior annoying. It’s always annoying when people cross the line between work life and life outside work.

But you have to distinguish between serious workplace transgressions and behavior that may be annoying but is not driven by evil intent. For a boss to force himself or herself on someone who reports to them is clearly a serious transgression, as we all know.

But here it’s simply annoying.

You don’t seem worried that not going out with the young man is going to keep you from getting a promotion or a raise or in any way affect your work life. Otherwise you would have said so.

From where I sit, I see a man who clearly holds you in high regard, so much so that he thinks you should meet his son, whom he obviously adores.

It’s a huge compliment. Accept it as such.

Also consider that he’s probably talking you up to his son and that his son is probably equally uninterested in being fixed up with you. How many sons have ever wanted to go out with women their parents tried to fix them up with? Few.

How do you handle this issue?

Just tell him how honored you are that he would want you to meet his son but that you have firm policy against mixing your work life with your outside life.

Does it have to be true? No. It can be a little white lie, a way of resolving an issue without hurting anyone’s feelings.

Say it enough times and he will stop asking at some point. (Also assume his son at some point is going to tell him to stop.)

As for being a lesbian, that has nothing to do with it. That is your personal life. Keep it that way.

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