‘The Drama Queen,’ a waste of time

Is there such a thing as déjà entendu — that feeling that we’ve heard a sound before?

If so, E!’s new reality show “The Drama Queen” will give viewers a serious case of it. Its star, a Hollywood talent manager named Marki Costello, has the grating, aggressive low-alto voice that we’ve come to associate with the supposedly colorful female bosses in unscripted series set in workplaces, especially those in the entertainment or fashion industries.

Although Marki appears to be less self-centered and mean than the average boss on these shows, her bickering staffers fill the quota of unpleasantness. The story lines are familiar and will tell viewers nothing about show business that they don’t already know. The drama, despite the title, is scarce.

Premiering this Sunday, Nov. 17, at 11 p.m., “The Drama Queen” covers Marki’s professional and personal life. She tells the camera that she is the granddaughter of a famous comedian — according to the show’s press materials, Lou Costello — and is descended from or related to many other entertainment figures. For example, her mother married Dean Martin’s oldest son.

In the second episode, the only one provided for review, Marki starts working with two young women trying to break into show business; her staffers have various arguments; and she and her boyfriend, Tommy, play tennis.

The main plotline is the story of Sloane, an aspiring actress who exudes desperation. She says her father left the family and gave up his rights to her when she was three, and she confesses that after moving to Los Angeles, she was arrested and spent a night in jail.

“She is one month away from being a call girl, a stripper or a paid escort to pay her rent,” says Marki.

Marki tells Sloane, “I think there’s a part of you that doesn’t feel she’s worthy,” but then tells her that she needs to change her look.

Then we see a series of scenes that most of us have seen in the makeover episodes of “America’s Next Top Model”: Marki’s image consultant, Jacobi, tries to persuade Sloane to lose her trademark long hair — actually hair extensions — and get a cute pixie cut. As always happens on “ANTM,” Sloane bursts into tears and refuses to do it. Marki has to come to the rescue.

Jacobi takes another prospective client, a young redhead named Kirby, to get some headshots. For no good reason at all, he has her put on a dark bronzer.

Before Marki sees the headshots, she says, “I just don’t want her tanned. It’s so great she’s so pale.” Imagine her surprise when she sees the headshots! The office mean girl, Michelle, a junior talent manager, says happily, “Kirby wound up looking like a giant Cheeto.”

Only a cynic would suspect that this entire story line was planned in advance.

Making the point that they don’t spend enough time together because she’s always working, Marki and Tommy go to play tennis. And then she gets a business call!

Marki isn’t the expected boss from hell. Her worst moment is when she tells her assistant, Angelica, that she’d better not scratch her lottery tickets or “I will scratch your…you can fill in the blanks.”

But Marki doesn’t have the charisma to hold our attention otherwise. Although she says she can work wonders with her clients, we don’t see it.

Setting up what passes for the climax of the episode, Michelle and Jacobi get Angelica to confess that she has ambitions to become a TV host. She makes them promise not to tell Marki. And then Michelle tells Marki.

Angelica, who says her parents were poor immigrants, objects to the others’ constant references to how “hood” she is. After a graphic discussion of whether or not Angelica is still a virgin, Angelica strikes back with a crude remark about Michelle’s private parts.

Marki decides to clear the air, telling her staffers, “Let’s get it all out there.” Michelle unloads on all of her female co-workers, who respond in kind, and everyone winds up feeling worse.

“I am so, like, humiliated,” Marki tells the camera, “but also, bizarrely enough, entertained. Is that wrong?”

Bizarrely enough, they keep putting out shows like “The Drama Queen.” It’s hard to believe that viewers are really entertained, but somebody seems to be watching. That’s what’s wrong.