Rachel, I’ve been stuck bigtime by co-workers

Dear Rachel,
My boss’s birthday is Dec. 2. She’s a great woman, very well-liked around the office. A group of co-workers agreed to go in on a gift certificate for her and her husband to a pricey local steakhouse. I bought it and others were supposed to pay me back. It is now March and only one person has given me the money. I have sent several reminders and still nothing. Rachel, this isn’t just a few bucks. I’m out almost $250. What can I do? Sign me Vexed in the City

Dear Vexed,
You have two courses of action, neither of which is particularly appetizing.

One, you can eat your loss, vowing never to be taken in that way again.

Two, you can be a real pest and climb all over those deadbeats until they pay up. I expect more than a few will get tired of being harassed and kick in what they owe. But some just won’t pay up, and at some point you’ll just have give up trying to collect.

I’m sorry for your sour experience, and I have to assume you are new to the workforce.

People with a few years’ experience are typically disinclined to put out their own money on promises that others will kick in later.

When it comes to money, people can get really strange, as you are finding out. They can be great to work with and dear friends, but when it comes to money—their own—they are unpredictable. Another part of the brain takes over. Or that’s long been my theory.

Personally, I would go after the money, and I wouldn’t worry the least about alienating co-workers. You may be junior, but that doesn’t mean you should go around wearing a sign on your forehead saying “sucker.”

You need to stand up for yourself, and while some will get huffy after a few rounds of pestering, you will gain the respect of everyone in the office, whether they tell you so or not.

People may feel sorry for victim personalities, but they don’t respect them, certainly not in a workplace environment.

The other benefit that will come from chasing down those debts is that it will reinforce your resolve never to be taken in like that again.

Going forward, I would advise staying clear of anything that involves spending money on work-related activities. If you want to buy a co-worker a holiday gift, go ahead.

But stop it there. If it’s a special event,  and you have to  to kick in, make sure everyone agrees to pay up in full before any money is spent.