Rachel, my big dread, the parties
The writer ends up staying too long and waking up hung over
November 20, 2015
Dear Rachel,
I dread the month of December. It is one media party after another, and I end up staying too late, getting half to fully crocked, and being beat the next day at work. By the end of the month I’m a wreck. My problem, I think, is that I see old friends and stay too long. I know this sounds all very juvenile but please give me tips on managing my social life in December. Sign me Sincerely Hung Over
Dear Sincerely,
Welcome to life. I think December is hard on everyone.
We’re all trying to clean up year-end business, and the recuperative off time we might be spending with friends and family gets eaten up by parties that are touted as social events but are often viewed as must-show business events.
So we go, whether we want to or not.
I have several pieces of advice.
First, you know that old thing about arriving fashionably late. The other side of that is leaving unnoticeably early.
By that I mean showing up, greeting everyone who needs to be greeted, hanging in for whatever event is planned—a holiday speech or whatever—then slipping out the door with the least fanfare possible.
As you are slipping out the door, you are sure to notice others doing the same. These are the smart ones.
In the pecking order of such events, the lingerers, those standing at the bar when everyone else has left, are at the bottom. You don’t want to be in those ranks unless you are really bored with life and have nothing better to do with your time.
They are not having a good time. They are just there.
In your note you say you end up staying because you run across old friends you haven’t seen for some time.
This is a perfect time to pull out your calendar and set up a lunch date or pencil in drinks. Then move on to the next person you haven’t seen for some time. Do the same.
But a caution here: I always found that as excited as I may be at first about seeing this person, at some point in the conversation I realize why we haven’t stayed in touch. The friendship is in fact over, only the memory lingers on.
Pulling out your appointment book will force you to ask yourself how much you really want to spend time with this person.
He or she could be a wonderful human being. They probably are. But as our lives change, we change and our friends change.
You might try something an old friend used every holiday season.
Whenever there was an event, she would set up something she had to be at an hour later. So if the event was at 8 she would schedule dinner at 9 with her mother or her husband or a close friend.
That left her no choice but to arrive at the party, make her rounds, and leave shortly after. That ploy was smart on two counts. She got out of the party early, and she had dinner with someone whose company she truly enjoyed.
That’s how we should all be spending our holidays.
Tags: ask rachel, media buyers, media careers, media planners, rachel, rachel speaks
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